Final Project: Violence Against Women in Media

Sam Courter

Sam Frace

Natalie Guyon

Cindy Himes

Rachel Hopkins

Isaac Lephart

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...I'm Coming Out I Want the World to Know...

Reading the Ellen article and discussing the whole “coming out” idea was supremely interesting to me as a lot of my friends, both past and present, identify in the LGBTQ community and have their own coming out story. But what came next was relatively shocking to me.
I hang out a lot in the music building and with music students and most of my friends who identify as gay come from this group. I am not by any means saying that all musicians identify as gay or following the stereotype that this is true, I am merely mentioning the people I hang out with a lot and the people I know who have come out to the general public are from the School of Music. What I do however want to point out with this is that even those people who are gay and have come out in a public manner subscribe to the notion that people need to come out and “confess” so to speak what their sexual identity is. I was sitting in the music building between classes last week and overheard a conversation regarding who had come out this year and how far behind in terms of how many had in comparison to last year. It shocked me that people would expect a number of people to come out, it shocked me that there was a running tally of who had, it shocked me that it would matter to the general public who had or how many people had, and it shocked me that being gay and announcing it was such a public event that everyone (even those who do not know the person) should be privy to.
I suppose before spending so much time in the SoM, I would not have thought that those within the community would be so excited about other people coming out and announcing who they like. I would have thought that the LGBTQ community would want people to accept who they are on their own time and not feel the need to announce and proclaim it to others.  

In connecting all of this back to the Ellen reading it is a really vivid example of how being gay requires a sort of announcement to the general public and the power relationship this creates between those who are demanding the announcement and those who are doing the announcing. The SoM conversation I listened to also correlates directly to the discussion of if confessions are liberating or if they are constraining. In this instance they appear to be more constraining because people expect others to come out and in fact have a strange desire for it to happen, yet the confession also has the possibility of being liberating as it allows the person to come to terms with who they are and become more self-aware. This specific conversation I think also plays on the idea of coming out and being gay as a personal thing in that it is still a personal decision for the person announcing it, those who want to hear it and are expecting it to happen are in a way stripping the personal nature away by creating such an established audience. 

Shit that annoys me...

Something that I stumbled across the other day on YouTube in my subscription box happened to be a fantastic video that I feel truly encompasses a key point that this course, and the study of pop culture (especially the internet), makes: people oftentimes get so caught up in media that they allow it to shape their thoughts and actions. In more specifics, media has become so ingrained in us that we have lost a bit of understanding of how to talk to others and thus feel that we can say whatever we would like to in whatever fashion we choose. It makes me feel a lot better to know that I am not some old-fashioned twenty-something year old who feels that the internet has allowed for people to lose their common sense in talking to other people, because I am obviously not the only twenty-something (or person really) who believes this is a problem that needs to be addressed and remedied. Just because there is this screen and a whole bunch of complicated code that I could never even dream of understanding separating me from the people I am talking to, it does not mean that I can be extremely rude to them and not feel bad about it. I would in turn argue that because of the physical disconnect and separation in this mode of conversing, we need to be even that much more aware of not only what we say but also how we say it. 

But enough about my own personal ideas about how people talk to each other on the internet, I suppose I should probably start talking about the original video that was the reason for this blog post in the beginning, right. Ok, so I am a subscriber to a channel titled abb3rz07 and think she is a fantastically unique and original person ( I recommend checking her out if you have time) and thus  I immediately clicked on her most recent video- shit that annoys me about the internet.
In this video she references two other YouTube videos, which I must admit I then had to go watch- YouTube has a way of stealing half a day from you sometimes. These two videos are from two different men with two different perspectives on the same event: Joey Graceffa and Nate Clark. The whole issue started when Joey parked his car directly behind Nate’s driveway blocking him in for hours and hours. Nate eventually called a towing company and had the vehicle towed so that he could leave his own house. Which sounds perfectly reasonable in my opinion, right- totally fine way to handle the thing. However, this is where a giant issue began. Joey Graceffa is a rather popular You Tuber and has a lot of subscribers, so when he made a video about his car being towed for “blocking someone’s driveway by that much” and then saying that the car is a ” fat ass and can’t get out of your freaking driveway”, Nate (also on You Tube) created a video response explaining the true events and refuting some lies Joey was putting out on his channel. For instance, the fact that the car was blocking the entire driveway instead of only part of it.
And really, the videos themselves and the towing of the car aren’t all that important- they just play a role in creating the environment that allowed for some really ugly behavior. Because the comment sections of both videos got insanely heated and there where even some death threats passed from those on Team Joey to Nate himself. This is ridiculous and completely out of line! But it does an excellent job at showing how the Internet and pop culture in general have shaped what people view as acceptable behavior towards others.

Because comments are made “anonymously” on the Internet people seem to feel as though they can say whatever they want to and not worry about the repercussions because they do not know who they are talking about and the person receiving the mean comments does not know the person saying them. But it still does not make it ok by any means. And not only is the anonymous nature of conversations on the Internet a cause for the inappropriate comments people make, the fact that so many people are writing such comments is making it seem normal and ok for everyone to do that. Which in some way connects back to the idea of the social learning theory in that we are learning how to behave and think based off our observations of what others are doing. In this case, the “others” would be the other people on the Internet who have become symbolic models for actions like inappropriate and hateful comments to become acceptable in some people’s eyes (except…they aren’t acceptable people).
Ok, so now I feel as though I have ranted and driven this point into the ground and I have thus come to a good stopping point. One last thing I want to add though, think before you post or comment just as you would think before you speak to someone in real life. 

Princess Culture- young and old

It's funny, but the entire time in class that we were talking about princess culture and while I was reading about this phenomenon one huge thing that kept running through my head was how odd it is that even if we outgrow the princess culture "phase" or never even go through it, when it comes time to get married- the mentality that is so prevalent in this "phase" comes rushing back. And it isn't even limited to those who are getting married, it is spreading out to all the females who are old enough to be getting married or thinking about getting married or getting engaged. And yet, this stage of princess culture does not seem to get nearly as much attention, negative or otherwise, as the Toddlers and Tiaras stage does. Why is this? Is it that we find it normal for women to get a bit demanding and a bit ridiculous while planning their weddings? But if that is the case, then what does that say about our society is we accept the bridezilla as the norm and believe that that is just how it is going to be for everyone? And yes, I firmly believe that not everyone has that bridezilla side to them, but I do think that our society is showcasing the princess culture through tv shows and making it seem as though that is how people should be acting and thinking.
I know from my own personal experience and past that I went through a bit of a princess culture phase myself. But nothing like what you are probably thinking right now. No, instead mine was just about wearing pink and painting my room pink and dressing up as a princess for three Halloweens in a row. So I would say it was pretty tame and nothing too awful really. Especially when you consider that I have since painted my room three different colors not at all similar to pink and have given up being a princess for Halloween and only own one pink clothing item (a scarf). And now that I am getting older and nearing that time that people my age begin to settle down and I find myself watching more and more wedding related tv shows, I cannot help but notice how these shows are basically making it seem to be ok that there is a whole group of young women who feel as though they deserve expensive and nice things, that they can control everything and everyone, and best of all that they matter more than anyone else around. But what strikes me as so awful about this is that because we have the princess culture so well documented and normalized to a certain degree in Toddlers and Tiaras and now we have it shown through shows like Say Yes to the Dress, Bridezillas, Four Weddings, and the like that we might end up with a culture in which it is completely acceptable for girls to never leave the princess phase and instead live their entire lives being that narcissistic.

The Nike Effect

Whenever we originally had our discussion about branding and how people become so used to seeing a brand’s logo and hearing the message the corporation puts out as a means to attract consumers I was convinced that females would be the easy target, the ones who would fall prey to big business more frequently and harder than their male counterparts. This idea may sound especially odd coming from a female, but I had reasons for jumping to my conclusion.
The picture of the typical female, myself included, is someone who cares what others think of her, someone who is always working to present the best version of herself possible, someone who aims to fit in and do what the masses are doing and wearing, someone who is aware of the judgment that others can aim in your direction if you do not follow the status quo. And yes, this is wickedly stereotypical and I am aware of that. But still I couldn’t help but compare how females worry so much about appearance to branding because I thought that the more we care about our appearances the more we are susceptible to branding and the message corporations send out saying that we must use their product if we want to be the same as everyone else, as good as everyone else, as popular, as whatever as everyone else.
So while I thought originally that females would be the ones who paid the most attention to brands and who was using which brands, I have changed my tune recently.

Looking around our campus it has come to my attention just how much guys are also falling prey to branding. Especially branding by Nike. As we talked about in class, Nike is excellent at selling the lifestyle behind the product and not necessarily the product itself. And I must say that after following one too many guy around campus and being inundated by a Nike backpack, Nike hoodie over a Nike shirt, Nike shorts, Nike socks, and even Nike shoes I am more than disgusted with how excellent Nike is at getting their message across and getting people to buy into it. If I was previously horrified by how much of what we choose to buy and wear and consume really is not because of our own decisions but instead are because of the messages corporations have exposed us to, that has only escalated lately. It has escalated yes, but I also have become much more impressed with corporations like Nike being so good at the key idea of branding: “find your message, trademark it, repeat it over and over again”. So while I wish branding was not so prevalent, I am interested in the process and how intense it is despite the fact that we so often think we are being original in our choices. 

Fakebook vs. Facebook

After reading so much about Facebook and how it allows for people to portray themselves in a way that may not match with who they are in real life, I could not help but think that that is in no way representative of me. But now.... I have to say that I am reconsidering that thought. I am not saying that my Facebook is about a different person, that I set out to lie, or anything like that- but I must admit that there are certain aspects of my account that can seem "fake". From the simple fact that until last year I never uploaded a picture of myself and relied solely on photos I was tagged in to the number of "friends" I have to the way in which I go through whatever I am tagged in to make sure it only shows the good side of me- I am unfortunately someone who participates, albeit innocently, in creating a "Fakebook".There is no way that the pictures I have on my account are an accurate representation of myself- there are hardly any pictures from before high school and there are countless and countless pictures of the prom version of me. The version of me that has hair done, makeup done, wears a pretty dress, smiling. Not the me that wears her hair in a messy bun, wears Ball State t-shirts like they are going out of style, and gets ready in under an hour. My account only gives snip-its of my past, it does a horrible job of showing all of who I am. Beyond just relying on the photos that other people have posted, I also have been the person who will untag and hide from my timeline any photo that I do not want other people to see when they look at my profile (let’s be honest here- we all creep on each other). Instead of being ok with showing all parts of me and all the pictures, I edit what people can see. Another lovely way I have found that my account is more fake than real is my number of friends. I used to find it peculiar that one of my friends (both in real life and online) has only 72 friends, but now I can see how that is so much better than my 802. Her account is full of people that she actually knows and talks to and cares about and feels as though matter to her life. Mine on the other hand is full of people I graduated with but hope to never see again, people that I went to summer camp with when I was younger, people that I know nothing about anymore. But yet I claim them as “friends”. Why is that? Does it make me feel better? It seems not- it just makes me sad because my friend number stands as a constant reminder of all the people I once knew or once talked to that no longer matter in my life. I am working my way down to a more manageable and more accurate friends list full of people I truly care about And maybe I will never hit 72, but I will pare it down to a more realistic amount. That’s a promise.