Final Project: Social Effects of Tinder

Connect or Disconnect: Social Media Making us Lonely

Facebook and Twitter are a great way to communicate, express yourself, and connect. But they are also a great way to disconnect. In a world dominated with smartphones and all the latest technology, it is super easy to be sucked into social media. I myself have had Facebook since 8^th grade and Twitter since about junior year of high school. Once I made my twitter and got used to it, I preferred Facebook. It felt like there was a better connection between people on there, you weren’t limited to 140 characters in everything that you type, and overall it was just more organized. Twitter fell to the way side and I used it every once and a while. Then I got an Instagram and suddenly that was the next cool thing! Everything had to be documented and put on “Insta” with a million hashtags. Once I got Instagram, I used Facebook less and Twitter more. Suddenly I had a separate photo album and didn’t have to go on Facebook to deal with reading other high school drama or that my aunt’s dog just did this just to post a picture. I also liked Twitter more because neither of my parents were on it and I could tweet whatever without getting a “I saw this online, whats going on?” or a “this happened and I had to find out online?!” I was a senior, I didn’t want a social media babysitter! I wasn’t swearing, I wasn’t bad mouthing anyone, I wasn’t putting up bad pictures; I just didn’t want to be monitored. Unfortunately, my mom is still on Facebook and my Dad had to make a Twitter for work (and he uses it for the sole purpose of keeping tabs on my brother and I) so I am back to being monitored. Social media takes the win.

Now that we got the back story out of the way, I can admit to spending WAY too much time on my phone with the Twitter app pulled up. Looking back, it disconnected me from my family. And the people I was following online weren’t particularly people I truly cared about in real life, just something to do instead of bonding with my family over a TV show I might not have really enjoyed. I should have just faked it for the sake of being able to talk to my family during commercial breaks about what just happened in the show. Social media wins this one.

But! It’s not just me! Believe it or not I am not alone here. So short story. I’m in my first year of college, about a month and a half into the semester, things are going good, I call my parents about once a week, post on Twitter all the time, oh, and what’s my Facebook password? So it’s one of those Sundays after practice and I am on the phone with my dear mother. She tells me (and I quote, hence why I am about to use quotations) “you need to start using Facebook more so I can keep better tabs on your life.” And she said it in that Megan Ann I am serious about this kind of voice so I was very polite and said yeah okay! Upon hanging up the phone I started to reflect on this and what we had been talking about in class. My mother, a 44 year old mom trying to be that super cool parent, and I love her to pieces for it, just told me she needs me to use social media so she can follow my life. Social media. Instead of just calling and saying “Hey sweetie! How are you?! What’s new?” every once and awhile. Social media. Our world is soo dependent on the web, on the keyboard, that we would rather read about our families lives when it is convenient for us instead of calling and maybe having to leave a message because we caught them at a bad time. This just blows my mind. Social media wins again.

When it comes to social media I think we ALL need a better understanding of when to tune in and when to tune out. I come to study tables every night and for at least an hour I have to be focused on school work. No phones to text, no checking all my social media outlets, just me, a bunch of other athletes, and our homework. All done in silence. And this is the time when my productivity is at its highest. Imagine our world if social media didn’t exist. Would we know what it is like to hide behind technology to hide real life conversations?

Women and sports and the clothing they dont wear.

Watching the video today in class about sports and politics wasn’t really doing anything for me until the section about women athletes came on. I think this is partly because when it comes to athletics, it’s a male dominant world (and politics bore me) and I couldn’t relate to any of the players being mentioned because I had no idea who they were. But my interest was sparked when it came to women athletes. Like, too dainty and fragile to play a sport? Changing basketball so it wasn’t as dangerous? Bike face or whatever the heck they called it? That’s freaking ridiculous. I understand and thank the male dominated world at that time for being concerned about the well-being of their women, but at least let us have some fun! Roll up our skirts and play ball like the rest of them! Okay so that’s that, and it got me interested. Then came the section about how many women were on the cover of the different magazines and I don’t remember the exact numbers, but six in the last 5 years or something for the one, and on the weekly Sports Illustrated magazine the only women featured on the cover was the Dallas Cheerleaders FROM THE 70S?! Freaking absurd if you ask me. I find it insulting that they focus on the girls in skimpy swim suits or other skimpy, way too revealing, articles of clothing. Media coverage has started to show more Olympic female athletes down on the synthetic sand. That is awesome, a step in the right direction, but guess what they are wearing. Skimpy “swim suits.”

I, my friends, am a pole vaulter. Now currently, I do not wear just a sports bra uniform top and buns (as I found out they are not called “underwear”, buns is the actual term for them). I wear the full length tank top and spandex short uniform. Could be considered revealing, especially at a high school level, at a college level I’d say it’s a normal appropriate outfit for competing. If, however, I was in the Olympics, I would be wearing the same amount of clothing as those beach volleyball women. It is insane to me that the world is still trying to show off women’s bodies instead of their great athletic abilities. I want to be recognized and watched because of my great talents in vaulting, not because my great body attracts the attention of males. I mean that’s nice, but there is more to us than the skimpy outfit, but do men notice that when females are put in the least amount of clothing possible?

Out of Your League

We have all been there. We have all ogled over some actor or actress, TV characters, athletes, or politicians. But can this ever be taken too far? Having a parasocial relationship, in my opinion, is normal and healthy. It creates a bond for not only the two people, but it also brings together a network of people who share the same fascination. It does get kind of weird because a parasocial relationship is a connection with someone when that idealized person basically doesn’t know you exist. The upside of it is all the normal everyday people they bring together like Harry Potter or Twilight fans. A perfect example of a parasocial relationship lies with yours truly. Me with Ryan Reynolds. I might have a boyfriend and he might be married to Blake now, but he is my husband. I mean the dude is hot and I’d marry him, spend my life with him, and have his perfectly sculpted children (I’m just waiting for him to pop the question. Oh, and of course meet him for the first time). But to me, he will always be my perfect person, even though he’s much older, is married, and smokes. Those are minor details I can always look past to be the next and best Mrs. Reynolds.

Now I don’t obsess with him every day and fantasize about meeting him and our wedding day, but this is the casual standing joke. It’s light, it only comes up every once and a while, my friend and I bond over it because she thinks he is perfect too, and so these “fake relationships” bring together the real ones.

Over the weekend a movie was on with him in it and my boyfriend said “Oh God, there’s your husband. I better change the channel now before you get too excited!” and he changed the channel on me. I don’t even know what movie it was, but when the channel flipped I felt a pang of guilt for not watching the rest of it. And the sad part is, Ryan Reynolds doesn’t even know I exist.

I am not a princess. Neither are you.

I know nothing about the real pageant world and maybe these TV shows play it up a little bit, but this post is based on what the media has given me and my extreme dislike for all things pink and frilly and princess-y. 

 I'll admit, I used to watch Toddlers and Tiaras a few years ago. I wouldn't say I loved it, but if it was on I would watch it. I never understood how a parent could willingly exploit their little girl like that. Making them shake their butts and twirl around for the judges while wearing custom made dresses or the midriff top which was a part their cow girl outfit. Shouldn't the parent be encouraging their little girl to be sensible, modest, and comfortable with exactly who they are? Call me old fashion, but I don't think it's right for people to be judging little kids based on their appearance. If this is the case, it should really be a contest for the parents; whoever makes their child look the closest to a plastic doll wins the prize. 

In my opinion, this teaches little girls that it is right to be judged and people will only like you as you get older if you are "done-up" and "pretty." Our society thrives on being beautiful, we see it left and right on all forms of media with beauty products, skin enhancers, and age defying what have yous. I get it, I'm a girl and still want to have that flawless complexion, but I'm 18 and realistic. I have eczema, blemishes, I sometimes have bags under my eyes because, well college, but I know I am beautiful in the way I present myself, how I feel about myself, and how I show self-confidence (confidence, not cockiness though) that portrays everything of a princess. I would never, let's get that straight, NEVER consider myself or want to be considered a princess. I love my dad, but I don't even want to be his princess. He's not a king, I don't rule people, I have yet to marry a real prince who does in fact rule a country. I'm not a princess, I'm not a diva, I'm not a brat, I'm not spoiled, I am a hardworking, independent, hard headed woman who knows she is beautiful no matter what perfect image the world tries to throw in her face. And I love the color blue. 

So all in all, main stream and judgmental people can shove it in their cans. I'm not dressing my children in gender specific colors or only letting them only play with gender specific toys. I want my children to be happy and know it’s okay to be a tomboy or to love your mommy and still be a strong young man. The most important thing is to be comfortable in your own skin, not wishing you had someone else's.

Megan Dearlove

Thrift Shop Shopping

This past weekend I decided I was going to go shopping as my reward for working so hard on my school work for the past few weeks. And saying that is my reward is saying a lot because I hate shopping. Literally, I hate shopping. And after this past lesson of hipsters and branding, I decided it was not my fault for hating shopping, but it was everyone else’s fault. I’m not trying to be the trendiest chick out there (all though up grading my middle school wardrobe to that of my current style would be nice), but people expect a certain look or you’re deemed weird, or lazy, or a goody goody, or hipster. I just want clothes cheap, not cheap clothes because I am not “homeless”, but clothes cheap that still tell my style. People expect a certain look and judge those of us who don’t have it. But aren't we all trying to be different? Not hipster, but different? So on Saturday I’m cruising through Goodwill on half off day, feeling pretty cool as Thrift Shop is rolling through my mind, and I was looking for moccasins that someone else has been walking in (legit, I went to Goodwill for some shoes). Anyway, I get to the shoe section and I am looking. And looking. And I find some shoes that I thought were cute. But then I was like: “wait. What are people going to think of me if they see my feet in these shoes?” So I put them back and I kept looking. But I really liked how different those brown suede boot shoe things looked, so I went back to them. I tried them on and they fit like a shoe. I wasn't sure if I was in love, so I talked to myself again… “Megan, don’t try to be too different than your current style. You like plain and simple shoes that don’t draw attention to you short but extremely wide foot. You really think you’re hipster enough for these shoes?” and then I was like “hold up. I am not hipster. I simply like how these shoes are different. Not hipster shoes, different.” So I said “I look fucking awesome” and I headed for the check out. They weren't 99 cents but I bought to two pairs of shoes for 4.50 so it was a pretty good day.

Relating this to our class, it really irks me how hipsters and branding is one giant circle that we all are forced to be a part of. Like Frank said, we are all poseurs. We buy the brands that are “in” while trying to have a style that is “out”. Like, what?? I like to believe I don’t conform to most social norms in fashion, I have my own style because I proudly shop at goodwill for the cheapest clothing possible and my favorite shirts have been those that my nana gave to from straight from her closet, but I am not trying to be a hipster. Or am I because I thrift shop and buy your grandpas hand-me-downs. I don’t know! It’s all one giant circle and I don’t like it. So there is my two cents Comm322. Anyone who ever wants to go to Goodwill, let me know and we can go be not hipsters together!