Appropriately Gay?

Lately we have been talking in class about what it means to be “appropriately gay” in the media. This whole concept really struck a chord with me mainly because I’m not sure how anyone can really define what appropriate means. Yes of course I realize that society is full of stereotypes on how everyone expects people to act, but even within those societal norms, how do you go about defining what is appropriate when everyone’s definition is going to be a little bit different? I know I can think of some norms that our culture has that are not what I would consider appropriate. So how is it that the media can come up with guidelines of what is to be appropriately gay? And what if someone in the media decided break from what is considered to be appropriate… Does that mean that they are bold and taking a stand? Or does that mean that they automatically mocked and judged? I guess with all this I am really just trying to express my dislike for this label of “appropriate.” Individuals who are homosexual already get labeled as “gay” or “homos” or a plethora of other not so pleasant names, so I think it’s pretty crappy that the media is branding this population with yet another label. This gives people no freedom to be an individual or act in whatever way they want to act because they are expected to follow the guidelines of being appropriate. No one ever tells straight people to act “appropriately straight.” Straight people walk around holding hands, they hug and kiss in public, and are “allowed” to be as mushy gushy as they please. I would say that those are ways of publicly flaunting a romantic relationship. But is it appropriate for gay couples to do that? According to what we have learned about what the media says on how to be appropriately gay, this wouldn’t be acceptable because it isn’t appropriate to flaunt homosexuality. This reality is sad to me. It seems like the media is trying to make such a big deal about the fact that homosexual couples are beginning to have more of a presence on TV and in movies, but if these individuals constantly have to check themselves on whether they are following the rules of being appropriate, then how actually real is their developing media presence?