Vicariously Gaming

Now, I do not game much anymore. In fact, it's been since junior year of high school since I've touched a video game. But, long ago, in a childhood that seems SO FAR AWAY, I did dig video games. I used these video games as a way to make myself believe that I was able to do things that I knew I could not quite do in real life. Two video games that come to mind that I truly dug for the purposes of feeling like I could do cool things are the Tony Hawk series of games and Guitar Hero series of games. Tony Hawk games were where I truly fell in love with the idea. I was skating all over these vast environments, wreaking havoc wherever I skated. I looked like a badass doing it too, as I could customize my character in these games and have him look close to what I wish I could look like. But, I did not look the way I did in the video game, with my cool long hair, sunglasses, checkered Vans, weathered jeans, and Girl skateboards shirt. I knew I couldn't either. I was not able to pull off long hair. Whenever I grew out my hair, it'd look like a Jew fro. I did not have a cool pair of sunglasses like my character in the game. I may have had the shoes and jeans, but I did not wear skateboard brand shirts, as I could not truly skateboard, which was another reason I loved the game. It actually FELT like I knew how to skate. I knew the lingo, the tricks, the parts of the board, etc. But, I could not skateboard if my life depended on it. I tried it out for a couple years in middle school, but I made absolutely no progress, and I was too much of a pussy to keep at it. So, I sold my shitty "poser" Wal Mart board and went on with my life knowing I would not look as cool as a skater, nor could I skate like them either. But, when playing those Tony Hawk games, I could do those things. I could look like a badass, and I could skate. With the Guitar Hero games, it made me feel like I could actually play guitar. It made me feel like the rockstar I was wanting to be, but knew I could not. I tried playing guitar multiple times from when I was five years old up until I was thirteen. It seemed like I times I could grasp playing, but that was not the case. I was not like Jimmy Page, Chuck Berry, or Angus Young. I only wish that I was. Guitarists were the ones that got the chicks and the attention along with the singer. They were upfront slaying the audience with their sweet licks and solos. I always wanted that and that's why I tried to play guitar. But, I could not get into it like I thought I would, so I decided to hang back, keep rhythm, and play drums like I have been since I was thirteen. But, when I play Guitar Hero, I can actually feel like the badass guitarists I had dug so much. I could play the "Free Bird" solo like Allen Collins and Gary Rossington in Skynyrd, or crank out Van Halen songs by pushing 5 buttons and strumming as simple as that. I knew that I could not even come close to playing those in real life, but when I plugged in that controller to the X-Box, I could play with the best of them, and it felt absolutely badass.